Bloody Spring Break

Scott Lucyks Journal
March 11 3:12pm
Dante. The dumbest, ugliest lamest alpaca on the Campbell blueberry, chicken, horse and alpaca farm. I'm not kidding, Adam Campbells farm has blueberries, chickens, horses and alpacas! That's not a joke! But that is far from the point. My spring break mission is to eliminate Dante.
It will be difficult. The farms robot sensors patrol the south and east perimeters of the farm, and the house blocks the west. The north will be were we must strike. The massive cliff will make it perilous for me and my accomplice, Braden, to enter the alpaca shed. Adam, the owner of the farm, intimately cuddles with Dante from 9pm to 9am every night. The only time hes not there is at approximately 1am, when he will briefly excuse himself to accommodate his chicken, Barbara.
We have it all planned out. We need to strike on March 12, because it is a full moon and Adam will be distracted, (he is terrified of the ware wolf). We will stealthily disable the robot patrols at 12:30am sharp. From there we will be able to freely enter the alpaca shed when Adam dismisses himself. We will have only 30 nerve-wracking minutes to successfully arm the bomb, because Adam will not be intrigued with Barbara, shes too elderly. He will no longer be attracted to her long, scaled beak, her rough, grey fur and her bony, meatless form. If the bomb is timed correctly, it will detonate right as Adam re-enters the shed, engulfing them both in a fiery inferno.
The passing will be swift and painless. The bomb is large enough vaporize up the shed, but the rest of the farm will be unscathed, and I will take the property all to myself. Not only will I rid the world of the horrible Dante, I will also convert Adam's phony farm into a masterpiece. The world we know will indeed be changed, for the better.

Adam Campbells Journal:
March 12 1:06am.
It is a full moon tonight. I have heard bone chilling cries of the horrendous ware wolf, though the robots keep him at a distance. Something is wrong tonight. Dante is not as passionate with me during our cuddling as he usually is. He has been stuck inside himself, not able to escape a mental prison he has made. Maybe its the ware wolf? Anyways, i made a promise to Barbara that we would have our intimate moment tonight, so i must leave Dante. Maybe he needs some time alone. I walked through the damp grass near the chicken coop when suddenly the robot stopped sliding. I hurried back to Dante and he was more frightened then ever. Then i heard an eerie ticking noise coming from underneath the hay bail. I peeked inside the hay and found a time bomb set with 2:12 seconds left. I clutched Dante's collar and yanked him out of the shed. But i was seconds to late. The ware wolf had descended upon the farm. As the ware wolf gazed at us with glowing eyes, i noticed Scott Lucyk and Braden Saretsky running down the moonlit street with wicked grins. Scott waved, and i turned over to see the razor sharp blood drenched fangs of the ware wolf driving into Dante's fur. He tumbled over into the soft dirt, and allowed the ware wolf to feed on him. I darted into the house and called the police, and camped out until they arrived. I was safe, but poor Dante had become the ware wolfs midnight snack.

DURP- an Innovative New Word WIP

"Hey, Braden, look at that kid! what a durp!" STOP! Ever heard anyone mutter that? Probably not, because DURP is not a real word...yet! It was created by me, Scott Lucyk, and comes from the word special, usually aimed at mentally handicapped people. I thought that was rude, so I made the word to suit all people who have had moments like that.
DURP has been described as "the perfect word to say to anyone acting silly" NEW YORK TIMES or "an innovative idea to tell somebody they are acting stupid in a harmless, not offensive way" PEOPLE MAGAZINE. DURP can be used in sentences such as 'wow dude, stop being such a durp', 'holy cow! Look at that durp!' or even 'When I caught a glimpse of that durp over there I almost died of laughter!' The verb DURP can also be used in plural (DURPS).
Still think DURP is a pointless word? Think again! If you were strolling down the street with your friend and your mom and you noticed someone acting really strange, or a mentally handicap person, you wouldn't want to say "hey man, look at that retard over there." THAT'S OFFENSIVE TO SOME PEOPLE! But DURP is a fair word, because it can simply mean somebody is fooling around and being random. Like I've explained, you don't want to make people feel horrible by saying they are 'retards' or 'idiots'. Instead, just use DURP, its so harmless and it fits for people who are being foolish. My goal is to make DURP a world renowned word, and to get it into a dictionary.
I thought of the word DURP when I was in Idaho in the USA. People were calling mentally challenged people 'retards'. (Such rude people, them Americans.)
I thought to myself, "wow that's terrible, its not his fault hes like that." Then I thought, "hey, what if I made a word that could describe someone like that in a less offensive way!" Then I created the word DURP. I will admit, I did not create the sound DURP, but it was never a word, or even had a meaning.






Scott's English Dictionary
DURP- to durp- to act like a fool, make random noises, actions and facial expressions
DURP- noun- someone who is acting silly or immature (wow, what a durp)
DURPING- verb- To describe a random act (that guys durping pretty hardcore)

If I was Invisible

So, what would YOU do if you were invisible? Would you go to a doctor? I know i wouldn't. That would ruin all the fun. Besides, doctors aren't on your side, he'd probably turn you in to the military. I would do something fun! Like go to a massive party and everyone wouldn't be able to see me. After my party, i would go to a fancy restaurant that serve fantastic food and take some free samples. Although, it would be awkward walking around naked all the time, who'd be surprised to see a shirt and pants floating around with no body there. Or if you became visible, you'd be wearing no clothing! But being invisible would have its downsides. You would loose most of your communications with others because of the risk somebody would turn you in. But imagine floating silently around with nobody able to see you, all the things you could do! Another thing I'd do would to take a bunch of money so that when i turned back, id be loaded and set for live. But what about all those people who were real jerks to you? Would you get you sweet revenge and haunt, scare, or even hurt them? Or would you just forgive and forget and go your own way? Hard choice. Id probably do one or two naughty things, but then id be off to find some more interesting things to do, like maybe go on a space shuttle heading for the moon or a submarine to the depths of the oceans. Or haven't you ever wonder what it would be like to live in a MASSIVE house, like Bill Gates or Paul McCartney? Id go live with one of those ridiculously rich people, and see what life would be like. Awesome, id guess.

Powerful and Powerless

I feel powerful when i hit people in hockey. It is the greatest feeling in the world watching them fall. I feel like I am able to own them and make me feel like the boss. I don't love hitting people because then they feel weak, but when i do i enjoy it and make it worth while. Or when something is really going my way and nobody can stop me from winning because then i know that they are all jealous.

I feel powerless when i am not able to do something and need help with it because i feel pathetic. In hockey, i cannot skate backwards and i fall a lot and that is when i feel horrible and embarrassed I know its OK to ask for help but i don't like to anyways because i feel dependant. I also feel powerless when someone says i cant do something. It gets me angry and i try even harder to do it so in the end i do better. Or when i am not aloud to do something that I choose to do because somebody (my mom) does not agree.